Guilt and Expecations

We may have traditionally done s disservice to our fellow disciples in regard to our communication and even our expectations.  I think there have been times when we have communicated to brothers and sisters that they need to have the faith of Abraham, the patience of Job, the power strength of Elijah, and the leadership of Moses to be pleasing to God.

This is obviously not correct, as each of these individuals struggled with aspects of their lives where they failed, and failed often at times.  We know logically it isn’t feasible for one person to have every one of these attributes to the degree that these heroes of the Bible did at specific times.  Abraham for example believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness (Rom. 4:3).  Yet, we also find that Abraham on two occasions did not trust in God as he should have and made his wife lie about their marriage so that he wouldn’t be killed by foreigners – Gen. 12:10-20 and Gen. 20:1-18.  There were times that even Abraham didn’t have the faith of Abraham it appears!

Were we to accept the premise that we all should have these qualities in ample supply such that those characteristics matched these heroes at their best, we would surely fall woefully short.  Add to that the idea that we must have all these qualities in that plentiful amount across all of our spiritual heroes and it is not hard to see where guilt would be the overriding emotion that dominates a person’s psyche.  It seems a misapplication of godly principles to lay that at the feet of every one of our brothers and sisters.

When the father of a child that had an evil spirit in him, Jesus said that “all things are possible to him who believes.” (Mark 9:23).  Rather than understanding Jesus to mean that this father must have perfect faith, the father responds, “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief.”  (Mark 9:24).  Jesus then heals the child and returns him to his father.  He doesn’t berate the father for his lack of belief, or accuse him of being unworthy of a miracle, or even point out that Israel was the special people of God and ask why this father’s faith wasn’t stronger.  No, despite the father’s failings, and frailty, and imperfection, Jesus performs the miracle and reunites this family.

Let us be more like Jesus.  Guilting people into behaviors is not a recipe for success.  Laying lofty expectations on our brothers and sisters does not equate to better actions.  Loving them in spite of their failures is the surest way to show them what God is really like.

Inspiring others to be the best they can be is a wonderful thing.  Berating them when they fail to do so only results in broken trust and relationships.  We expect grace (or at least hope for it) when we fail to live up to our own expectations for ourselves.  Let us be willing to extend it to others as well.  When we witness failure in others (or even ourselves) let the first thought in our minds be graciousness rather than accusation or guilt!